When I decided to get into the dating scene a few weeks ago I was simply compartmentalizing that part of my life into its own category, away from everything else, at least so I thought. Little did I know what would take place over the next few weeks. While this originally started as a site to talk about "Transforming Chronic Illness Into Vibrant Health", it is obvious that I don't want to talk about chronic illness or ailments, which would only increase your ill feeling. And this is certainly not a "poor you" site where we pity you because of your ailments. It’s a site to examine where chronic illness and unhappiness come from. And since many would love to blame their external world, all those things come from within.

I have found over and over again that many illnesses are related to stress and most stress is related to wrong partnerships. Even the stress that some think is related to jobs or money are in fact really related to people being with wrong partnerships, wrong friends, wrong employers and wrong co-workers. Whether we are stuck in a job with co-workers or a boss we can’t stand, or we are stuck in a marriage or relationship that has long outlived its welcome, stress of this kind is a major reason for so many of our ailments. In fact it has been said that cancer is anger turned inward…

I didn’t just decide to start dating a few weeks ago, the decision was made last December. I took 5-6 solid months of preparing by asking myself serious questions. Questions like: “Who am I as a dating partner?” "What do I really have to offer?" “What are my ethical standards?” “How do I want to handle each encounter, either in person or via e-mail?” How do I want my dating partner to feel after an encounter with me?” “What do I have to bring and offer to this other person?” And on and on I asked myself these questions, getting very clear with who I am and what I want, but most importantly, what I want the other person to walk away with, whether or not there would ever be a phone call or anything beyond an e-mail. For me it's all about kindness.

And I’m so blessed to see that I have stuck to my intentions and they have paid off so gloriously! So much so that a thought crossed my mind last week that perhaps I need to become an Internet Dating Coach and Expert...

My profile has been viewed almost 10,000 in the last 4-5 weeks with a 20% response rate. I am overwhelmed needless to say. Meanwhile, however, I figured out my own system on how to be fair and get to almost everyone. The response from everyone has been so amazing and filled with grace and gifts I never knew could come from a strangers. Our words are the most powerful force and can make or break someone...

Just yesterday one of the gentlemen sent me the following poem and I think it speaks to what we all want:

"Oh the comfort
The inexpressible comfort
Of feeling safe with another person.
Having neither to weigh thoughts
Nor measure words
But pouring them all right out
Just as they are
Chaff and grain together -
Certain that a faithful hand
Will take and sift them
Keep what is worth keeping
And with a breath of kindness
Blow the rest away."

Written by Dinah Craix over a century ago.

So when you feel down and you feel like the people closest to you are not doing their job, perhaps you may decide to first become that which you want them to become, only then will they see in you how to be themselves…And then perhaps these people can fall away from you because your journeys have come to an end or they will want to change, as do you. It's not our job to change others, it's our job to inspire others by the mere existence of who we are. Not because we try so hard, but because "we just are."

Go claim your closeness with others! It’s an amazing gift!

My friend took some new photos of me in an effort to create a smashing Internet Dating profile. What a fun journey this has been!

I'm having such a blast with this, I think I need to become an Internet Dating Coach!

These last few weeks in my “absence” here on my blog have been a tremendous learning experience and I will do my very best to pass on my lessons in the hope and with the intention that you too may learn and grow. It has been a fantastic time to say the least!

Over the past few weeks I have been getting various visions of rivers, creeks, streams, brooks and even waterfalls. At first all I understood and remembered were the scriptures that talk about rivers. My very name, Chaszey, represents the flow of a river, forever finding the path that is her. King Solomon tells us that “All streams flow into the sea, yet the sea is never full. To the place the streams come from, there they return again.” And John tells us that “streams of living water will flow from within” us. And David tells us that “There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells.” The City he’s talking about is of course your innermost being, the little speck of light that you truly are. It is your God-Self.

We all know, or at least I hope that you know, that God (or whatever you call the Light Source) is everything, lives in all and is everywhere. It is that light source that is with you always, that shines a light on your path, even if you run from it, hide it or try to squash it.

As I was getting these various visions of these massive rivers that flow with majesty and might and without making a seeming sound, yet the power of these rivers is unshakeable, deep and almost frightening. Most of these types of rivers are wide, deep and they are fairly straight with large and wide bends, compared to the little creeks and streams.

I suddenly realized that this is how true love is supposed to be!

Little creeks and streams bubble and make their path to eventually merge with one of those big, quiet, calm and yet powerful rivers, which eventually merges with the big sea again (God). Creeks and streams are shallow, as can relationships be, although they make a lot of noise, as can superficial relationships.

I realized that the rocks in a river bed that create the sounds and the bubbles and the foam on top of the sparkling water rushing in between their obstacles are just like us trying to squeeze people into our lives that perhaps have no business being there in the first place.

Imagine yourself standing at the bend of a river with a whistle and a red flag trying to command the river to take a left turn instead of a right turn. It doesn’t quite happen this way. Yet we continue to try to make people into something they are not. We want to direct the path of their river down our path to merge with our big and calm river, but we forget that we have left our river in order to redirect theirs.

All streams will eventually lead into a big and calm river and all rivers will run towards the big sea. And eventually the cycle and rhythm starts over again.

So what is my lesson?

While I may feel like a single and individual water drop and my ego wants to remain separate and unique, it is only when I am willingly let myself merge with the big sea (God) that I have the whole power of the big sea on my side helping me to achieve what I have come to accomplish. It is not for me to remain a separate water drop, weak and alone and facing the drying out by the scorching sun. It is for me to help others guide to find their own river within and to let them take their own path down that stream and not to redirect their path the way I think it should be.

Everyone is a brook, a stream, a river, perhaps you’re even as deep and quiet and powerful as the Amazon river – no matter where you are on your journey, know that your path is guiding you only in one direction: in the direction to be merged with the big sea (the light source within you).

Congratulations on living and tapping that source of unlimited amount of power within you!

Many decades ago Professor Elmer Gates performed a study in which he analyzed the perspiration of several men in various mental moods. The perspiration of those whose moods were angry turned yellow and when put on the tongue of a dog even showed evidence of poisoning.

We all get angry from time to time and while it would be most ideal to always flow with the river of gratitude, we seem to fall off the boat once in a while and pinch off that flow of peace.

Think about this, however, anger causes poison in our own bodies! Not only does this poison have the power to change the color of our perspiration but it actually has the power to poison another being! If it can do so, then only imagine what this poison does within the members of our own body.

Is it any wonder then that we suffer from anger illnesses such as cancer of many kinds?

A big part of my program and e-Book is all about spreading peace throughout our own body. There are many ways we can do this:

Be kind to your body in the way you feed it, exercise it, tend to it, clean it, whom you share it with and most importantly: in the way you talk to it.
Do not talk about negative and sad stories as we see them in the world; even if this means for you not to watch TV or read the newspaper. Remember that the news is always a day late only to remind you that there is nothing you can do about it anyway. What you can do on a daily basis, however, is for you to be at peace and thus you spread peace and happiness from you out to your horizon, and before you know it, the world looks like an amazing place to live (it starts with you).
Surround yourself with circumstances and people and situations that are worthy of you and deserving of you. You might say: “I don’t have any control over the people around me.” And to that I say: “Yes, you do.”

Lao Russell says: “Peace and love to not come to you from your horizon, they spread from within you out to your horizon and beyond into infinity.”

Start with you – it’s all you can control anyway!

When is it appropriate to “let go” someone vs. to “hold on” to someone?

I have knowledge about something about a friend of mine, that defies everything I believe in and stand for. Yet this friend is so close to me, I dare to say he could be my twin. Yet this new knowledge is so disappointing to me and overall so degrading, that I have been struggling all week not knowing what to do about this situation.

Ever had a situation where you knew the right thing to do but you didn’t do the right thing out of loyalty to that person, or perhaps out of the addiction you have to that person?

You may have spent your childhood with that person or a big part of your adult life, and you can’t imagine them not being there anymore. But the pain you feel because of the choices they make, is almost unbearable.

So when do you cut the line, draw the line, shift the line or do whatever you have to with “this line” and send them on their way so you don’t have to compromise your Self anymore?

I have let a best friend of 12 years go because what I found out about her was so contradictory to my own beliefs and my own values, that she became the “test” for me to see if I would sell out or not. I let her go and today, more than 2 years ago, I have no regrets about it. In fact, after our parting other people of much higher quality of character started to enter my life and life took a turn for the better for me.

So this week I tried to remember the blessings that came out of me sticking up for what is right and I tried to have this talk with this friend last week and it didn't go over too well. I’m in a similar boat and I have to make the same decision once again. And it’s harder this time, even though it “shouldn’t” be. I struggle to “cut loose” and “let go” but I don’t want to “hold on” to the friendship either – because I overall realize that we have already lost whatever we have to hold on to for dear life. I have a saying and belief that whatever is mine cannot be taken away from me. So if it’s mine and I let it go, it will come back to me tenfold. If it doesn’t come back it was never mine to begin with.

Perhaps you can see and feel that I’m just writing for myself today, trying to come up with the courage and guidance for myself to set this person on their own journey. It will crumble his world, as he states. What makes it harder is that my previous friend had a group of support to help her through the break up of our friendship. This person doesn’t…

Why is it so hard to break other people’s hearts just so we can stay in integrity with our own karma and life journey???

Wish me blessings and healing for my friend so he too can make changes in his life and move on and grow.

And my final words from Christian Larson:

“Thus sings the poet, and we call him sentimental; that is, at first thought we do. But upon second thought we change our minds. We then find that faults and defects are always in the minority, and that the larger part of human nature is so wonderful and so beautiful that it needs must inspire admiration and love in everybody. With all their defects there is nothing more interesting than human beings; and the reason is that for every shortcoming in man there are thousand admirable qualities. The poet, being inspired by the sublime vision of truth, can see this; therefore, what can he do but love? Whenever his eyes are lifted and whenever his thoughts take wings, his soul declares with great eloquence than every before, “What a piece of work is man!” Thus every moment renews his admiration, and every thought rekindles the fire of his love.”

Christian Larson encourages us to “Follow the vision of the soul. Be true to your ideals no matter what may happen now. Then things will take a turn and the very things you wanted to happen will happen.

“The ideal has a positive drawing power towards the higher, the greater and the superior. Whoever gives his attention constantly to the ideal, therefore, will steadily rise in the scale.

“Take things as they are today and proceed at once to make them better.

“Expect every change to lead you to something better and it will. As your faith is so shall it be.

“To be human is not to be weak. To be human is to be all that there is in man, and the greatness that is contained in the whole of man is marvelous indeed.”

Sometimes I find myself wanting to be weak and lowly and sit and dwell, feeling almost sorry for myself. Sulking in the “bad” and letting my energy sit low and dormant. It’s during those times that people who have tended to their self-discipline pick themselves up and say “no more, I’ve had enough of this” – and because of that tactic in spite of them wanting to stay “low” that they succeed. So if you feel weak and like you’re wanting to give up, remember that life comes and goes in cycles with a precise rhythm, don’t give up, keep on going and enjoy every moment of it: good and the seeming not so good.

Christian Larson would say that “The first mark of a master mind is that he is able to promote his own perpetual improvement. The second is that he is able to be strong, joyous and serene under every circumstance.

“The imagining faculty is the creative faculty of the mind, the faculty that creates plans, methods and ideas. Our imagination therefore must always be clear, lofty, wholesome, and constructive if we would create superior ideas and build for greater things.

“Before you can have greater success you must become a greater man. Before you can become a greater man you must reach out toward the new and the greater along all lines; and this is possible only through the constructive use of imagination. You get your best ideas when your mind acts in the upper story. And in all fields of action it is the best ideas that win.”

What is a Master Mind? Some would say Edison, Einstein and people alike are master minds. But what about you? Do you believe that you have been given all that you need to be the Master Mind of your own life? Who holds all of the answers to your questions? Why do we read books about other people and why do we try to imitate those that we don’t even know, rather than choosing to get to know ourselves, while tending to the fertile ground of our own master mind, where all the fruit of our lives come from?

I’d like to encourage you (including myself) to spend more time with you and less time trying to find out about others. Because as you get to know the YOU inside, you will automatically get to know others and suddenly the secret essence of what life is all about lies bare within your own eyes for you to adore and cherish and tend to. You are the only master piece there is! Find out who you are, study yourself and constantly question your own motives and ambitions. Work with your Higher Self as an inseparable team and watch the majestic glory open up right in front of you.

Do you ever feel so down that you just want to dump on a friend, hoping that it’ll get better? Yet you realize that while you may be feeling better after you “vomited” your sorrows all over her as if she was a garbage can, that the problem actually multiplied rather than disappeared?

I have noticed over and over again in my life that when things go wrong, the first thing I want to do is to call a friend and tell them about it, dump, vent and get advice from my friend. Yet when I learned to go inward and present the challenge to my Higher Self, asking my Higher Self to take over and to transmute the challenge into a blessing, then I come out of it renewed with strength and with the exact answer to the solution. And I spared a friend unnecessary heartache to fix my problem that was never hers to fix in the first place.

Christian Larson would say it this way: “Never think or speak of that which you do not wish to happen. The whine, the sting, and the sigh – these three must never appear in a single thought or a single word.

“You can win ten times as many friends by talking happiness as you can by talking trouble. And the more real friends you have the less trouble you will have.

“Speak well of everything good you find and mean it. When you find what you do not like keep quiet. The less you think or speak of what you do not like the more you have of what you do like.

“Magnify the good; emphasize that which has worth; and talk only of those things that should live and grow.

“When you have something good to say, say it. When you have something ill to say, say something else.”

So sorry for “staying away” for a while. I have been busy with another “project” that is taking more time than I anticipated.

I have been working with the I-Ching for a few years now and often go through phases where I want to consult my higher guidance through the I-Ching in addition to meditation. This week I asked an interesting question part of the answer came back as follows:

“Don’t build cemeteries in your mind. You do that by indulging in grief, sorrow, and grudges. If you dig up an old grievance or hurt by rehearsing it in your mind, you are opening a grave inside yourself. Thinking about the past is a kind of mental and emotional death. Don’t touch any negative thought. Liquidate the past, obliterate negative thoughts, and replace them with the right thoughts. Let Divine love rule in your mind. Your good is this moment. Your future is your present thoughts made manifest.”

I loved the wording of what we know as Positive Thinking.

I appreciated the wake-up call because we all have a tendency from time to time to slip back into the negative self-talk. I hope this hits home for you as much as it does for me.