A friend of mine who has been married over 15 years has had her share of heart ache with her husband, like most couples do. Every time they get “into it” she gets closer and closer to the inevitable decision she may one day have to make: “I’ve had enough, THIS broke the camel’s back, I’m outta here.” Each time they fight her physical body seems to be taking a longer and longer toll and requires more time to “heal” to come off the anger-rush. This last time it took her almost one full week to feel like she could function again. The week in turmoil was spent barely functioning in any of her other areas of life; work suffered, she was tense with her friends and her children, she lost interest in most day-to-day things and so on. Sounds familiar?

And yet a week later she apologized, he apologized and things slowly mended back to where they were before. Because of the children they don’t want to break up. Oh and also because they deep down truly love each other (yeah right). And after all, at least he’s not a beater, a cheater, a drunk or a drug addict, and he’s a great father after all – so it must not be that bad. And I really don’t want to be single again, what if I never find anyone else?

Who are you kidding?

Most spend their life time trying to squeeze a square peg into a round hole. And the fact doesn’t change: if it doesn’t fit now it won’t fit tomorrow and it certainly won't fit 20 years from now! And what’s worse, trying to do so actually will reduce your life span. You can’t live with someone who is energetically and vibrationally incompatible with you, without getting sick or die early. People are desperate not to be alone and when loneliness overpowers people they will settle for anybody - a jerk, a witch, a loser, anyone will do - as long as we they are not alone. It doesn’t have to be this way.

So stop trying - stop wasting your precious time on partners that are not your match. Yes, this is easier said then done. Yet I promise that it’s easier than you think.

- Here is your first clue: It comes down to simple math.
- Here is your second clue: Nature is our greatest teacher and shows us countless examples of what true unity is all about.

Unfortunately, most are still stuck in the primal dark ages where “sex is natural” and therefore to be exercised as much as possible, with as many people as possible. Little do most people know what really happens during those special moments, whether you are with the right person or not. And even less do people think of the consequences that come from such mismatching.

Here is a first insight again. We are made of 70-80% water. Water is created by merging the right parts of hydrogen (male) with the right parts of oxygen (female). Once water is created, both hydrogen and oxygen DISAPPEAR and VOID each other in order to create something a lot more powerful than if oxygen or hydrogen were to stay “single.”

Does this mean that two people need to give up who they are or forget about their own purpose here on earth? On the contrary. The problem is that most people underestimate their own power and don’t know WHAT and WHO they are and they blindly merge themselves with another person not even realizing that they are trying to create water (magic) with this other person. Water, however, can only be created when the two components are a 100% match. Otherwise you have a chemical mismatch. Thus we get sick, physically, emotionally, spiritually, we die from the inside out – slowly but surely – until the stronger partner is almost destroyed. The weaker partner will have enough juice to keep going, because s/he feeds off the stronger partner’s energy field.
Again, if you mix hydrogen (male) with peroxide (female) you'll have a good match but not a perfect match. Hydrogen and Peroxide do not void each other out in order to create something even more powerful, so they are left to clean wounds...a nobel duty, but nothing earth shattering.

The same thing happens when two people merge, because our bodies are chemical suits. And just because the sex is great doesn’t mean THAT is your life partner. As a race we have to learn to grow beyond the evolutionary step ladder of primal procreation and learn that this is about raising the frequency of the entire galaxy so all mankind can be raised to a level of consciousness.

Water in this example can be likened to MAGIC. When two matching partners come to together, they do so to create magic, not only for themselves, but for the world. Such a union is truly one-of-a-kind, rare and so blessed.

More on this later…
Marriage, divorce and relationships in general have a huge impact on our health and overall well-being. Just this week our county suffered a tragic loss to suicide. A 25 year old young woman who shot herself to death because her boyfriend broke up with her. If you've never "been that low" I hope you can reserve judgment for people who do go to the edge where pain seems too overbearing. The woman was not only beautiful, she was successful, had a great job with lots of promises ahead - yet nothing seemed to heal her heart from her break-up with her boyfriend. Suicide seemed like her only way out. As a suicide prevention counselor I see the complaint about loneliness all too many times, and most never call the hotline to get help. It doesn't have to be this way. Yet this is the reality for so many.

The bible says: "Let no man separate what God has joined together." (Please note that I am not religious and do not belong to any religious groups or churches.) If the word "joined" would have been translated accurately from the Hebrew, the word would actually have been "welded." Welding two people together, or anything that is welded together for that reason, cannot be ripped apart without damage to both parts. Any welder knows this, any jewelry maker knows this. Yet as people we rip apart our own marriages all day long.

But what if we forgot to pay attention to the middle part of the sentence? "Let now man separate WHAT GOD has welded together." What if your marriage wasn't welded together by God at all? What if it's us humans getting infatuation confused with unconditional and true love, which causes us to squeeze a square peg into a round hole? Can we truly say then that God put the marriage together?

Some of you may say: "Well, we are all gods, God acts through us, therefore, we are gods of our own lives." Yes, that is very well true - we are also told that "The Heart is deceitful above all things." Knowing that full well, I also know that now looking back, my "red flags" came along right with the feelings of love, of wanting to truly make it work, of wanting to be "at home" with this person for the rest of our lives: "Until Death Do Us Part." I shrugged the red flags under the rug and only looked at the good feelings and intentions, hoping the red flags would disappear over time, or be transformed over time. Ah, I was notorious for HOPING that he'll change, or that IT will change. And it never does, does it Ladies...
And now in hindsight, almost 4 years later, I have learned this wisdom. God never welded together our marriage at all. THAT was the thing we tried to do for almost 15 years, we tried to weld and mold and join and weld some more. But it would never stick long enough. It was exhausting to say the least. And our marriage never welded, never joined, we never succeeded at squeezing the square peg into a round hole...

Let’s look at some statistics (Source for all statistics: http://www.divorcereforum.org/):

1. America has the highest divorce rate in the world
2. The number of divorces has quadrupled from 4.3 million in 1970 to 18.3 in 1996
3. Divorces cost Americans $33.3 Billion each year
4. Each divorce costs the government approximately $30,000 in increased food stamps, juvenile delinquencies and increased bankruptcies
5. 75% of all divorces are initiated by women (I heard that 85% of women today don't even want to get married anymore)
6. Divorce counts for a major reason of suicide amongst males
7. There are almost 1 million attempted suicides each year
8. 50% of all children involved never see their fathers again one year after the divorce
9. Children in single family households are twice as likely to develop serious psychiatric illnesses and addictions later in life
10. Approximately 1 million children each year are affected by divorce
11. Fatherless homes account for:

• 63% of youth suicides
• 90% of homeless / runaway children
• 85% of children with behavior problems
• 71% of high school dropouts
• 85% of youth in prison
• 50+ % of teen mothers
What does this statistic have to do with chronic illness?

a. I believe that most illness is caused by stress.
b. I believe that most stress in today's world is caused by mismatching ourselves with the wrong people (not only our marriage or love partners, this also includes the families we live with, the friends we choose, the bosses we choose to work for, and the overall environment we set up around ourselves).

WHY DO WE DO THIS TO OURSELVES? And for what?

Do we suffer "in the name of love?" There is not much love there trying to squeeze a square peg into a round hole, hoping for the square peg to one day fit. It'll never fit. Just like Hydrogen and Peroxide will never make water, a wrongly matched couple will never create anything productive and useful for humanity.

Are you asking yourself just about now: "I wonder if I'm with the right partner." Then read between your own lines, because your answer is within that same question...

More on this most important topic later...
Life is not always as predictable as we want it to be. These past few days have been interesting to say the least, and the word “interesting” doesn’t even scratch the surface in reality. A friend of mine was scheduled for surgery on her foot this morning. She won’t be able to walk for at least 6 weeks and recovery will be a long and tedious road for her. She has a lovely dog who just happens to be my dog’s best friend. Her dog sitting arrangements didn’t pan out the way she wanted them to, and I unexpectedly volunteered to be the back-up plan in case of anything unforeseen. Having two one-year old dogs is like having two-year olds running around without their diapers on, with nothing on mind other than to rip apart their toys. In other words, they constantly have to be watched because they are getting into everything. And yet they are a great joy and bring so many smiles.

After dropping off my friend at the hospital to have her surgery, I got on the freeway where I soon saw 4 police cars on the side of the road. I saw a pick-up truck in the ditch in the bushes and a body on the side of the road on a stretcher, covered in white plastics (it’s raining today). This person didn’t make it.

How fast does life pass by! Perhaps this person was just on the way for lunch or to run an errand. Whatever the case, people will be called to be informed that their loved one will not be coming home tonight, or any other night for that matter.

And there I was complaining about the uncomfortable appointment I was going to. Seeing this dead body on the side of the road brought me back to the harsh reality – life is fleeting indeed.

I’d like to recommend you go see the movie called “The Bucket List.” At first I thought it was a comedy, and in a way it is because it made the audience laugh and smile, that’s for sure. However, the laughs and smiles didn’t come from funny stories as much as they came from the truth of how fleeting life truly is.

Live life to the fullest, now and always, no matter where you’re heading. You never know if your next ride is your last…

Many blessings to you and your loved ones.