Today is a rather “sad” day for me because I am watching my almost 15-year old daughter work her way through yet another loss of her friends.

When I was 15 I had to deal with parents or teachers that upset me and perhaps the pimples in my face. Never in my life would I have thought that my own 15 year old child at this stage in life would be forced to deal with so many losses.

One of her friends went to visit his cousin this past weekend when he was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time – he was killed in a drive-by shooting.

A few months ago another one of her friends went to a family reunion where she laid down on a pillow in one of the rooms. A gun underneath the pillow went off and killed her instantly.

The tragedies go on for my daughter, they have been simply too numerous over the past few years, yet I don’t want to depress you.

So today is a day I spend in silence and reflection, going over the losses my daughter has experienced to date, learning from this, reflecting, meditating, finding and eminating peace.

I know she is not the exception to losses, many people lose friends all the time. The older we get the more friends and family members we lose, and soon we know for certain that we indeed are anything but invincible.

The world is so stressed out that we have forgotten what it means to be at peace. We lost electricity a couple of times this winter season and it was such a blessing to me. There was no humming in the house anywhere, everything was off and quiet. My teenager, however, was without a cell phone, without TV or computer or telephone, and the world seemed to have fallen apart for her after a couple of days without access to the outside world. Those used to be my most blessed days when I was a teenager. Besides, we didn’t have cell phones or laptops and TV watching was monitored heavily.

How many of adults today can’t go anywhere without their cell phones on? How many of adults today can’t go a week without watching TV or reading the newspaper without feeling like you’re losing it? Yet how many of you remember the last time you spent an entire day in absolute silence, without talking to anyone all day long, simply listening to Mother Nature and your inner Self?

Today, take a breather. It’s Friday – go home early. Relax. Spend your time alone out in nature with the peace only nature can bring out from within you. Let her whisper to you the wisdom of the olden days; Mother Nature hasn’t forgotten; she talks of it all the time in the gentle swaying of the wind ruffling through the many flowers, trers and bushes around you. Listen to her and find peace today and know that you are the most special Being of all.

Peace and love don’t come to you, they come from within you and spread out towards your horizon.

It’s interesting once Pandora’s box is opened how people just come out of the woodworks to discuss their views and issues with the topic of sex. After I posted the previous topic on sex, several people, both men and women, came to me with their points of view. Interesting to say the least!

One gentleman said: “When I’m stressed all I want is release from my wife. But she just won’t give it up for me as often as I’d need it.” Let’s evaluate these statements:

Him: “Wants release."
Her: “Won’t give it up.”

“Release” infers to something you do in order to become relaxed. “Giving something up” means what it literally means: Giving something up or giving something away. “Why is this so difficult for her to understand?” he asked me.

I’m not a sex therapist so I answered the best way I could: with honesty about how I would feel as a woman in the same situation.

First of all, the world “release” does not contain the act of “giving” at all. The word “giving up” does, however. When a woman feels that she is not being given something she automatically feels that she is giving something up. The word “release” reeks of “taking” or being taken advantage of for the benefit of someone else. Even if that is not the case for the man, the most important act of giving is missing when a man seeks release only.

I tried to explain to him that “men don’t have flow.” Nothing on their bodies flow except their runny noses, a tad bit of ear wax and perhaps a tear every decade or so. Think about it. Women on the other hand flow constantly from multiple places. They cry a lot more than men do, they have their periods once a month, or thereabouts, and their vagina constantly flows by droplets and dribbles here and there. Flow is important for our bodies, which are made up of approximately 80%, depending on whom you ask. Flow keeps energies moving, flow keeps bodies regenerating, flow keeps rejuvenating, flow means relaxation, the very relaxation a man is seeking. Thus, men are seeking the same kind of flow, but physically are unable to find it unless a woman provides that opportunity for flow for them (or they help themselves, which only satisfies half of the giving cycle).

The Japanese culture believes that a man’s way to heaven on earth is through a woman’s vagina. The Japanese women believe that the only way their heavenly gates to heaven are opened with the help of a man. I find the “give and re-give” philosophy in this culture loving and oh-so-true.

Women feel that they are “giving something up” because they are being penetrated and “filled” with the essence of the man, which stays in a woman for up to a week, literally. Long after the man has “flowed” and his body is ready for more release, his woman still walks around with this flow, his essence, his DNA, his karma. Again, the Sanskrits believe that a woman takes on her man’s karma after she has shared her physical body with him. This is true in the most literal way possible.

So why do women withhold themselves from their men, often to punish their man? I’m assuming the reasons are manifold; somewhere between “showing him whose boss” and her simply not being able to “give up” whatever she feels like she’s giving up, and possibly the unbearable energy that she unmistakably takes on if she accepts “his flow.”

It doesn’t matter what I personally believe because the only person I can physically take care of is the “man of my life,” the one who will one day help me open the door to the kingdom of heaven here on earth. It’s not the release that is important, it’s the few moments of complete rest right after both beings have literally emptied their batteries into one, that’s where the blissful state is because during those moments is when both batteries are being recharged fully (provided both batteries are chemically a perfect match).

I have come to look at women as beautiful flowers, a most wonderful garden that needs warmth and sunshine in order to let the flowers blossom. Their man in life is that sun constantly shining his warmth and rays of light onto the garden. If you as a man succeed in doing so without scorching her and without withholding your light for too long, your flower won’t have a physical choice but to open herself to you on a daily basis.

I have come to look at men as the amazing and life giving warm sun that loves to shine on the beautiful garden because he takes pleasure in the openness of his garden. She realizes that her openness and blossoming appearance is what keeps him shining on her every day of her life and she never withholds herself from his warmth and his rays of light.

Go shine on someone today. Go open your pedals today and make someone gaze at you in the beautiful sunlight!

I feel so blessed to have been asked to teach sermons at New Thought Churches and have started to record them to encourage others like you as well. I am not a religious person and would not consider myself "belonging" to any denomination other than the devotion to the overall great divine plan, of which we are all part of. I am fascinated with the science of the mind, and undoubtedly the great divine is even better understood if one understands the science of our marvelous minds.

The lessons are non-threatening and non-religious, although I do list scriptures that are referred to in a way so everyone can relate.

The first CD with 3 lessons is now available. Each lesson is approximately 20-25 minutes long for a total of approximately 1 hour. The CD features the following lessons:

1: Abundance
2: Letting Go and Starting Over
3: Counting The Cost

You can purchse the CD now for only $15 by clicking the PayPal button to the right below my picture.

There are a few things most people don’t want to talk about. They are: Sex, God, Money, Politics (which inadvertently mixes together the first three).

Let’s talk about the S word (as my daughter would say). There is so much to say about sex, the need for it, the origin of it, its past and its future, its actual purpose (depending on whom you ask) and what can and cannot be accomplished with it. We can look at sex as the merging of feminine and masculine, a physical act for the reasons to procreate (instinct), a release of energy, obtainment of energy from the other partner, a primal means to calm down, a cleansing ritual, the “coming home” to a blissful state, recharging ones batteries, arriving at heaven for a moment of rest, and so on. Depending on whom we talk to, we’ll get as many different opinions about the need for sex and what happens during sex as there are people on this planet. No one is right and no one is wrong. We’re all on our own journey and what may seem wrong to me may be a way for someone else to survive.

A great book to read is Power vs. Force by Dr. David Hawkins. Growing up I used to judge people who smoke, drink or do drugs. Because that is what I grew up with and I saw the effect on the surrounding world. I was born having difficulties breathing because my parents both smoked and my mother smoked when she was pregnant with me. My father was an alcoholic and I saw him screw up his relationship with my mother (I’m sure she had her part in the break-up too). Sex became bad because my Dad cheated on my Mom and ended up leaving us for “the other woman.” Soon I came to view all of “it” as bad, as unnecessary, as evil and as a nuisance. It was my journey and needless to say if I ever would get married it would have to be to a man who didn’t want sex from me. Good luck! Like that was going to happen. Dr. Hawkins book really helped me understand why people do what they do, without the need to judge anyone.

Once I was divorced I went on a journey to find out what sex really meant to both men and women. I came across Nancy Fiday’s books, which helped me tremendously in understanding the human species. Animals don’t have a choice in mating or not mating, they are ruled by instinct and are primal, pro-creation and survival is there number one concern. Humans do have free will and we make a conscious choice, something an animal cannot do. Still, so much is happening as two people merge their bodies together to becoming one. Just like any battery has a + and a – part of the energetic pole, once activated the battery is capable to charge a piece of equipment up. Similarly, when a + male and a – female merge their bodies, they undoubtedly create “something.” When a battery is being used or charged up there is only energy oscillating between the + and – parts of the battery. Unfortunately when two human batteries comes together to merge and create energy, worlds are created (or destroyed). It’s not just a physical energy exchange, the merging is manifesting so much more with consequences that most people don’t want to know or hear about; if people could just see the spirals and vortexes and funnels that are emanating from them and merging with the other person to forever be implanted into the universal soil called ether, to one day create something very powerful (or very destructive).

Little do people know that once they merge with another person on a physical level and funnels and vortexes and spirals have been exchanged, they will forever take that person’s energy with them and be influenced by them. It’s like taking white play dough and mixing it with green play dough and then trying to separate the two, it’s an impossibility. Or putting a drop of ink into a glass of clear water, and then trying to take the drop of ink out of the water that is now tainted.

The more impressive part that most people don’t know about or even imagine that every exchange with another human being is a form of sex exchange. It doesn’t have to be in a romantic way, but in an energetic way. The moment two people lock their eyes together, whether during a conversation or while passing a stranger on the street, both people are constantly “shooting” spirals, vortexes and funnels out into the universe. It’s our essence that we project to the world. When we lock eyes we lock energies with the other person and instantly take a piece of their energy and give them ours. The Sanskrits believe that as soon as a woman sleeps with a man she takes on his entire karma. I happen to believe the same goes for men too. Most people’s energy I frankly don’t care to carry with me. I just am not strong enough to take on other people’s karma, I have enough of my own to work through. And unless the other person’s energy can help me work through my karma I’d rather not pack more unnecessary life times on top of this one.

So why is this such a big deal?

Over the past few years I have been a landing place for friends and clients to listen and help them see a part of their existence that can’t be viewed with our regular human eyes. Over the years I started to make a connection to a person’s personal power level and the number of physical partners they have had in their life. This may sound strange, however, what I found is that the more partners anyone had (man or woman) the more “watered down their soul” had become and they had started to lose a piece of their essence. It’s as if every time they had sex with someone they gave the other person a piece of their soul to keep forever. When the relationship or event was over the piece(s) they had given away could not be recovered. I also saw that the more partners someone had, the more they wanted to expand their “territory” and the more “free” they became to be with eve more people. It is a false freedom, however. One that comes at the cost of their own authenticity and may cause a person to go back in line to start their own evolutionary journey once again. For what, I ask.

A person I have known for almost two decades chose to sleep with as many women as he could, he always has, he still does; hundreds of them, perhaps even thousands of them. Today that he is in his 40s he’s realizing that he will never be able to regain the innocence that can only come from having all the pieces to his soul. He’s lost, he doesn’t know anymore what he wants. Women still throw themselves at him, but only because they’ve been sexually frustrated for so long, he spells their sexual freedom, something they perhaps have never experienced. Yet none of them want to stay, not one would ever want to have someone “like him” to be at their side. He’s good “for one thing.” He’s chasing through women constantly looking for the next one, constantly proving his self-fulfilling prophecy that proves that women are only here for one thing: to be used and then tossed to the curb. He has an amazing charm and at first blush really seems to know what women want. But a deeper look into his lonely soul proves otherwise, as do his eyes. The sad part is that he’s looking for an “innocent” woman who hasn’t been around the block as often as he has. Yet how can he ask of the Universe to deliver him Cinderella when he himself doesn’t live like this even to this day?

Just over the past two months I had two friends approach me who both got married young. One got married around 19, the other around 25. Both had slept with “only” 5 women. They are in their 30s now and they are longing for a temporary change and temptation for both of them from the other women is difficult to withstand. They both love their wives, they have children by them and they are committed to staying faithful. If they could just go out and dabble with other women a few times….to kick off those horns, sow the wild oats, to get some more adventure – whatever all these expressions are. What neither of them understand is that one of the reasons they are so irresistible to other women is because of their lack of experience. It’s because they still own their own power, they haven’t given it away, they haven’t slept around, neither of them ever had a one-night stand. Women being the intuitive beings they are can sense that from 10 miles away and such men become the irresistible magnets. Although women love a man who can show them a thing or two in the bedroom, a man who has the kind of power that can come from a strong and pure soul is rare and every woman intuitively wants to merge with that power, by means of physical exchange.

Will they be able to stay faithful to their wives? It’s not for me to predict. I can tell you that if they are both hydrogen and they both married their equivalent parts of oxygen and their marriage equilibrium is water, they will make it without a doubt. What concerns me is that they still long for other oxygen…When hydrogen and oxygen merge, water is the merging’s inevitable result. When two people merge that are truly meant to be together, it will show in evidence in what they create for this world. If there is no evidence, then perhaps the chemistry is lacking to produce that miracle that we all need.

So what? You’ve discovered that your partner is indeed not your matching hydrogen or not your matching oxygen. But you’ve said: “Until Death Do Us Part” and perhaps you even have created children that now count on you. What should you do? I can’t tell you what you “should” do. In fact, I have for the most part eradicated that word out of my dictionary. Remember, this is your journey and there is no should or should-nots. It all depends on what you have come here to create. Why are you here on planet earth? Is your partner’s purpose in alignment with yours and yours with hers? Remember it is life-sustaining and nurturing water you are here to create. If you’re just trotting along next to this person’s life while creating absolutely nothing useful for not only you, but also nothing useful for your child(ren) and even less for the planet, then what are you really doing here? Read “The Greatest Miracle In The World” by Og Mandino. You have a magnificent purpose here on this planet. You are unique as is your partner. No one can take your job, your position, your spouse who is your true oxygen or your true hydrogen, and no one can replace your true purpose here on this planet. The question is, are you about your true purpose yet? Or are you just fiddling around wasting time until the next life time?

When I “got this” once and for all I realized that I could stick it out with a man I was never supposed to be with in the first place or I could leave us in peace and become about my purpose and give him the chance so he too can become about his purpose. I’m not directly responsible for his journey and the decisions he makes, but I am directly responsible for mine and indirectly responsible for everyone else's, including his. However, I can only take responsibility for myself and others if I am first living the free life that I have truly come to live, I am responsible to lead by example. I also am responsible to be a role model to my daughter and to show her that settling for anything less than her purpose and the man who is her exact hydrogen counter part will prove to be futile with only heart ache in sight. She’s almost 15 and she’s already beginning to get it. The moment she sees that she wishes something was different about this other person, is the moment she realizes she is dealing with "a square peg" that she's trying to fit into a round hole. It doesn't work, it never will. I was courageous and loved my husband enough to set him free. This was over 4 years ago and it was the best thing I ever did for everyone involved. Especially this planet and humanity as a whole.

The world is waiting for you!

This is a long post and oh-so worth reading. I get worked up (in a good way) when I hear of children shooting other children or people snapping out of seemingly no where. Then the media is all over it looking for answers when the answers are so clearly in front of us. I hope this post gets published and spread across the world because it is so important that we as adults “get this” once and for all.

I shared a little bit about all the red flags that were being waved at me by the Universe right before I decided to marry my husband. The flags were there, I made a choice to disobey and ignore them. I wanted to get married and nothing and no one was getting in the way of it. And so it was. When our daughter was 2 and she entered the “terrible 2s” we started to get reports from pre-school that she was showing more and more signs of anger. She bit or hit other children seemingly out of the blue. We were advised to get her psychiatrically evaluated. We did. It was recommended that we would put her on Ritalin to see if there would be a change in her. The doctor said that if she did not have ADD or ADHD and she didn’t need the medication that she would not display any changes. However, if her behavior changed and she became less angry in her physical outbursts, then she would need the medication.

Here was my response: “Over my dead body will I give this child medication just to make her more manageable to adults who instead need to learn how to deal with children going through their two’s. Perhaps you should go on medication for even making such a recommendation.”

It was the first major division that my husband and I experienced in our marriage. I had lost faith in Western medicine a long time ago and rarely believed anything a Western doctor told me, let alone stuffing my child on medicine so she would become a Zombie. He on the other hand was a “Yes, Doctor, whatever you say” type of man.

My daughter is almost 15 today and not once did we give her any medicines; she is doing great in school, knows herself very well and has no problems sticking up for herself and others; we switched to another pre-school when she was 2 and I became a stay-home mom. Yes, it came with a huge financial change because I was the main bread-winner – but honestly, can money be put in the same pot as our children? All children need and want is TIME, (isn't that all men and women want in their relationships as well?) and there is no price tag attached to time. In fact, every parent gets 24 hours with their children, even people like Oprah, the president or Bill Gates and other multi-millionaires; no money can buy more than 24 hours a day no matter who you are.

A study was done in Switzerland, my home country, where they took pictures of the brain of elderly people in nursing homes who had violent tempers. Low and behold, the same part of the brain that is affected by Ritalin showed evidences of holes in the brain tissues. And isn’t it interesting to know that after doing research all of these people had been on some kind of “calming” drug as they went through life?

It pisses me off that parents and society are so damn ignorant and constantly wanting the easy way out – all at the cost of their children’s well-being! How many couples do you know that stick together for the children? Since when are our children silly-putty to hold together our dysfunctional marriage? No wonder these little guys are angry and upset at the world. They don’t have the vocabulary or even the understanding at what they are angry at in the first place. So we label them ADD and ADHD. To make it worse we now label adults that way!

I give you a hint: it’s called STRESS.

In preparation to read and understand this post, please read the previous post from February 11th. It saddens me greatly to see the world in so much ignorance with what is going on inside of us all. Just because shootings happen in other States and they are other parents’ children doesn’t mean we are not all affected. I was puzzled that we too had a recent teenage suicide a couple of weeks ago and only 11 out of thousands of parents showed up to our Teen Depression and Teen Suicide presentation. We would so much rather look the other way and pretend that our children are not “that” depressed and therefore it doesn’t concern us. Nothing could be farther from the truth.

So granted, we know that the first dysfunctional family existed with Adam and Eve, long before Cain and Able showed up and one killed the other. The parents were already screwed up before Cain and Able were ever born. She deceived him with her manipulative ways and he was a cowered and didn’t stick up for what was right – both lost and today's couples still seem to struggle with the same issues. Not much has changed other than that most couples pay thousands of dollars to a therapist to rehash the same old crap each week for decades to come. Take away that “fake” band aid from the relationship and most likely the relationship won't hold together. There is indeed a time and place for therapy, I’m all for it, however, most use it as a band aid and they never get to a place where they can function without that additional help.

Hint: if the specs ask for a 4x4 post don’t try to make a 2x4 fit, you’ll pound and hammer on that 2x4 until it splits and breaks into a thousand pieces and in the end you have nothing. Sounds like most marriages doesn’t it.

Today we would rather pretend and make therapy and our children the silly-putty that holds marriages together rather than true and unconditional love. And we would rather stuff our children with medication and shut them up so they are manageable to the adults who can’t handle them in the first place.

What the hell is wrong with humanity??

Let’s talk about Cause and Effect for a minute. An entire CD in my program is dedicated to this topic because once you understand Cause and Effect a person can apply this formula to any challenge in their life and instantly solve their problems, whether they be health challenges, dealing with “impossible” children or a cheating spouse. Whatever the case may be, understanding this one lesson and how to apply the formula is a miracle in and of itself. It is the easiest lesson of life, in fact it is so simple that most don’t get it.

Cause and Effect is the only Law of the Universe upon which all other laws are built. We hear more about the Law of Attraction than we do about any other law, and while it is a good law it is only another law based on the foundation of the Law of Cause and Effect. The first law is Cause and Effect; ignore all others until you understand this one, then all the others will make sense.

Cause is always internal, Effect is always external.

No Exception.

Look at this first picture showing Cause at the center.

Everyone understands how a rock thrown into a lake causes ripple effects. The majority of people would say that the rock is the Cause of the ripples. This is not correct, however. The rocks is actually Effect number 1. The ripples are Effect number 2. Although long after the rock has sunk to the bottom of the lake, the ripples (effects) are still continuing to grow. So it is with our problems of life. Long after the thought we thought about has put in motion the ripple effects of our life, the thought has disappeared and we have long forgotten about it because now we are busy trying to make the ripple effects of our negative thought go away.

However, the thought only appeared to be the original cause, this is deception in its truest sense. That’s why positive thinking alone does absolutely nothing for most people.

Thoughts come from somewhere deep within. A thought, although within, materializes without causing havoc if the thought was impure or tainted. Positive thoughts bring about positive results, yes. But WHAT exactly makes us think the thoughts we think?

If you can see, feel, touch, sense or hear whatever it is you’re trying to fix (even a “broken hearted” teenager) then you are looking at an Effect, not a Cause. You can never, ever, ever fix an Effect and expect the problem to be gone. As long as the Cause is still there, new ripple effects will reappear eventually. Hence, people say: “Why do I keep attracting these losers?” It's because you didn't take care of the thing that causes you to attract them in the first place.

So as parents and teachers and authority figures of any sort what do we try to do? Fix the teenager or child by pumping them full with medication (that ought to calm them down!). It’s like chasing after one of the ripples on a lake and wanting to make it go away, it’s impossible!

There is more to this Cause and Effect Law. Look at this seesaw.

Cause is the fulcrum, always steady, always calm, it never moves, it only balances the lever. Our thoughts, however, always change. Thus thoughts can’t be Cause. Cause is always within, never without. Whatever comes from Cause (the fulcrum) creates an imbalance of the lever called Life. What is out of balance must come back into balance. Hence “Opposites attract.”

There is always only one Cause, there are always two Effects.

Whatever shows up on one side of the lever must show up on the other side of the lever in equal measures.

“What goes around comes around.”
“And eye for an eye.”
Etc.

Back to the rock that is NOT the Cause of the ripples on the lake. At first blush we think that it is our thoughts that rule our outward world. And that is correct only if one knows how to think conscious thoughts and has the knowledge to think the thoughts that bring them the circumstances they wish to experience. Tell a starving child somewhere in the world that they should think positive thoughts and visualize plenty of food and they would look at you cross-eyed because they don’t KNOW this experience, they have never experienced or even seen plentiful of food.

There are only two Causes: One stems from the Light, the other stems from the Darkness.

What keeps the lever even is the invisible equator called Balance. The moment we get out of balance Nature brings us back into balance, even if it hurts us. The good news is that we are in charge 100% - only us, no one else.

You choose every time you make a decision if you are about to receive Effects that will resemble light and love, or Effects that will result in chaos and disaster. It’s called FREE WILL and FREEDOM of CHOICE. There is no one to blame.

My entire CD program and e-Book is based on this one simple law: The Law of Cause and Effect. It is the only valid law in the Universe upon which all other laws are built, including the Law of Attraction (what you are on one side of the lever must undoubtedly be brought to you on the other side of the lever by your equivalent). So if the Law of Attraction or Law of Allowance have never made much sense to you, understanding the Law of Cause and Effect will bring all puzzle pieces into balance for you.

Wishing you a conscious journey that you design for yourself with love and light, so it can be a joy to walk this path called Life.

This weekend our county featured what is called a Parent University, which was a day filled with classes by various speakers. Classes ranged from “Teens and Sex” to “Teens and Drugs and Alcohol” and I was giving a testimony/presentation about “Teen Depression and Suicide.” Since I live close to the Golden Gate Bridge, and work as a suicide prevention hotline counselor, we deal with “jumpers” on a consistent basis. Unfortunately we just lost a high schooler who jumped off the bridge and our topic of teen depression and suicide was added at the last minute, in an effort to help parents understand and see the warning signs of depressed teens.

This Parent University takes place once a year. What was shocking to me was that out of over 500 high schoolers going to this one high school alone, only about 100 parents showed up for the initial keynote presentation. Out of those parents only 11 people showed up to our presentation on Teen Depression and Suicide.

PEOPLE ARE SIMPLY INCAPABLE AND/OR UNWILLING TO DEAL WITH TEEN SUICIDE (or suicide in general for that matter).

So many parents would rather stick their head in the sand and say: “my teen might be depressed but certainly not suicidal.” Until it’s too late. We have on average of 2 people jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge every month. Last year by June we had already reached the 25 mark. And I just read an article that Military suicide has been at an all time high.

Is it any wonder the way this world is heading?

Without getting my readers depressed, the first thing to do for ourselves (and thus the people around us) is to look death in the eye, no matter what that means. Death is inevitable, it’s coming sooner or later, to all of us, not just some of us. What doesn’t need to happen at all is for us to call it quits when the going gets tough. When someone gets that low to want to end their own life, the pain of whatever it is they are dealing with has become too heavy. They don’t really want to commit suicide or die, they just want the pain to stop. And they’ll do whatever it takes to make that pain stop, even if it’s ending their own life. Feeling that kind of pain is pretty devastating and needs a lot of coping skills and tools in our coping cabinet. Something most teenagers don’t have.

Many people I know are committing a slow form of suicide by falling deeper and deeper into a depression within their partnerships or in their life in general. They would rather stick out the pain and stay in a depressed situation than take their courage and start a new life, perhaps alone. “At least living with this person I know what I have, it’s terrible, but I know what I got.” Leaving brings the unknown and that is way scarier for most people. Even at the prospect of finding true love or peace and happiness, most people choose to stay with sorrow and bleakness. And our teens watch this, they analyze this and they soak it in more than you know. If you as a parent are suffering over a long period of time, what are you teaching your child other than “this is going to be you one day.” What teenager wants to live up to that?

The second thing we absolutely have to do is to remove stress. Not only the stress in our teenagers’ lives, but our own. We are way too stressed, watch way too much TV with stressful shows, and there is simply not enough peace in our own lives. Disconnect from this world. Turn your cell phone off for a weekend, unplug your TV from the wall and do something else, go outside or play games. Take it easy, don’t schedule anything. If this can be your life style, congratulations. Perhaps you can manage to implement a few days here and there like this, that’s fine. Start somewhere.

Let’s be honest and open with our feelings to the friends we have. If you don’t have any friends or none that you feel comfortable talking to about your depressions for fear of judgment or whatever, know that you can come here. There is no judgment here. I have been at the depths of life and definitely have felt like Jonah swallowed up by a wale,” and I’m here today to tell you that there is hope, no matter your situation. I’m glad to help.

My light always brighten your path so you can see,

Chaszey

Good morning everyone,

I was teaching a class Goal Setting this week. As I went around the room, it was interesting to see that most people did have goals and they had the idea down of what their goals are, but no one had the specifics. One person would say: "I want to lose 20 pounds." Another person said: "I want to find the love of my life." And another person said: "I want to start my own business."

These are not goals, this is wishful thinking. The whole world wants things, the whole world dreams of a better life. No one wants a life that sucks us dry and is boring and without purpose. So why do only a few achieve their dreams? Is it because life is truly unfair to most of us? Or is it perhaps because we do not live with deliberate intention?

When you set goals that you want to materialize for yourself, you have to add the right ingredients, bake to perfection and then enjoy:

Goals must be:

1. Specific (describe your goal in as much detail with as few words as you can)
2. Measurable (I want to lose 20 pounds vs. I want to lose weight)
3. Realistic (I want to lose 20 pounds by the end of this week is not realistic)
4. Challenging (Make your goal stretch you and reach for the stars)
5. Completion Date (most people miss this one; they say "I want to lose 20 pounds this year," instead of "I want to lose 20 pounds by such-and-such a date")

Once you have your goals set according to this formula above, create smaller action steps. Because if you just write down your goals and don't put action behind your dreams and goals, then the Universe can't bring you what you so desire. It is by your strong arms that you achieve your goals.

Glory be to self-empowerment - I know you can do it!

Whether we are in physical or emotional pain, often the emotional pain is much more overpowering than the physical pain. Often we wish that someone could wave a "magic wand" to make this agony go away. The funny part is, we do have a magic wand, it came with the castle we built for ourselves so long ago. We just have replaced it and can’t find it anymore because we’ve been spending too much time in the dungeon and not enough time in the grand ballroom. So we run through our castle screaming for someone to get the darn magic wand and heal us already. Yet little do we remember that everyone else is staff and not authorized to touch the magic wand. And even if they did, it only works when we use it and use it the right way.

No one is allowed to remove our pain from someone else's journey and their life path. Doing so is robbing them of their own path and their own lessons. It’s like pulling the sticky stuff off a butterfly that is struggling to free itself from its cocoon. If we do, the butterfly will die because it will be unable to fly unless it has managed to free itself from its own cocoon. Yet how often do we go to someone else asking them to free our wings? And how often do we aid in the inevitable tragedy of disabling the person to fly on their own?

It’s hard to watch someone suffer. And obviously if we can help without disturbing or interrupting the course of their life, then we help. That’s what life may be all about. Defining the difference, however, may be one of our hardest lessons.

I remember belonging to a church group many, many years ago and each week the women got into circles to pray; everyone took turns. Now I recall that we all seemed to beg God to do something for us or for someone else. “God, I beg you to…” usually was contained in everyone’s prayer somewhere. We don’t have to beg, we just have to get clear about what we want, what we truly want. Because we’re also told that if we seek with our whole heart and all of our mind, we shall find it. And of course, later we’re told that the kingdom of heaven doesn’t have to be found at all because it’s already within us. We’re the master architect of this amazing castle, we are the kings and queens, gods and goddesses of our own castles; we designed the place we live in (our bodies), and yet somehow after we moved in we decided to move into the dungeon rather than celebrating where it’s light and sunny.

So how did this law of balance become my most visited guest? One day I realized that everything and everyone around me, including my own body, is here representing as a symbol. Everything I see and don’t see is a reflection of what I first put out into the Universe. It was then that I was able to start removing myself from my Self and become the observer and literally detach myself from my Self. I hope this makes sense. It was the day I realized that I was sitting in my dungeon awaiting trial, hoping that someone would come forward and proclaim my innocence. I was waiting for someone to open the thick, squeeky, wooden door to this dark place, and set me free. Someone did come, but not to set me free, just to let me know that the trial I had been waiting for was fabricated in my own mind and that no one would ever come to set me free - it was ME that could set me free because it was ME that put my Self into the dungeon. I went there willingly (perhaps ignorantly, but definitely willingly).

When I started to slowly accept that everything is one and everyone is one and the same, then I also started to realize that I am just as responsible for the 9/11 bombing as if I would have flown the plane myself. No, I wasn’t there and obviously I’m not a terrorist. However, I have chosen to live in this world at this time and every experience everyone is experiencing at this time is indirectly (and directly) very much affecting our world as a whole. It’s called mass consciousness. I stopped watching TV a long time ago and can barely go to the movies to watch a G rated movie because of the harsh sounds and the big pictures rushing at me. My body and being have become extremely sensitive. I don’t watch the news, don’t read the newspaper, it’s just bad news that comes to me a day late to remind me that there is nothing I can do about it anyway. The world has problems, that’s no news, I don’t need to know the details and stress over it. What’s important will come to me through other means, and it always does.

And suddenly something interesting happened. Even though it seemed as though I wanted to take the ostrich approach and stick my head in the sand and pretend that the evil doesn’t exist in the world, my intentions were the opposite. Suddenly the parts that did find me were magnified and I knew that I could and had to do something about those things. And I did, and I do. Suddenly I pick up on the CAUSE of this things rather than hearing and agonizing about the effects plaguing the world. Feeling other people’s pain from all this distance at first was almost unbearable, then I realized that I could help by taking responsibility. Even if I didn’t pull the trigger, didn’t bomb that city and didn’t fly that plane into a building, I felt responsible by living at this time, and I apologized. And I asked for forgiveness. And I said “I love you.” Not to anyone in particular, just “I love you.” Perhaps I said it to the world, the Universe, the people who were doing these things, the people who had to endure them. It didn’t matter anymore. I just wanted to remove myself and say “I apologize, I forgive you, I love you.”

Later when I read one of Dr. Emoto’s books about frequency and vibrations, I learned that the highest vibrations comes with love, forgiveness, respect and gratitude. I was already doing the first part of this and simply added the second part: respect and gratitude.

“Now hold on a second,” you may ask. “I’m not only supposed to forgive this bastard for what he did to me AND apologize for what he did to me AND then say I love you??? But now I’m also supposed to respect that person and be grateful for him?? I didn’t do anything – I am the victim! You must be out of your mind!”

Yep, that’s exactly what I’m saying. I never said it was going to be easy. I promise however, that it works!

This is going to be challenging but trust me, it works and it works every time - do not dismiss the simplicity of this. Find a mantra, an affirmation, a prayer, whatever you call it, that is filled with love for the person you once loved. Yes, today you may dislike this person and possibly even hate them. Yet the hate and dislike is bouncing back to you and those around you (our liver by the way is the anger center in our body, anger towards other people always shows up in our liver). Moving forward on a path of hatred and dislike will only get you sicker, not healthier. First and foremost we need to heal our hearts, then our bodies will be healed automatically and then our outward world and finances will fall into place. Let's find the cause first. All effect will fall by the way side. IF you can do this, I'm sure the heavens don't lie, your love will conquer all because love never fails; come from that place first and all else will work itself out; THAT I know for sure. If anyone needs help with their mantra or their affirmation, just send me an e-mail. I would be more than happy to give you feedback on your mantra, if you need help with it. It's important that you pick only positive statements and that you make it short and sweet; no beating around the bush, no double meanings, etc. When I have "enemies" then I go back to the basic items that are important to everyone: My mantra for my enemies is always the same:

- I'm sorry (I take 100% responsibility for the other person's actions);
- I forgive you (for everything and anything);
- I love you (the core essence of you, that doesn't mean I have to love what they did to me, I just love the essence of them which is the same as mine);
- I respect you (that you are a seedling of light just as I am);
- I am grateful for you (when I'm hitting the depths and the lows is when I learn all my lessons, the heights are for my enjoyment only, rarely do I learn my life lessons on the heights, they always come in the depths, so I thank my adversaries for these lessons, because of them I can grow).

My 5-CD Audio Program features over 6 hours of these lessons. It is now available also in e-Book format featuring over 340 pages of wisdom, photos, diagrams and charts. Visit http://www.itsmyweightloss.com/products for more information.

How can habits, good or bad, help us have better health, better relationships, be happier with ourselves and get more satisfaction out of life in general?

Most have heard that “humans are creatures of habit” – what does this really mean?


The Thesaurus breaks down the word “habit” in 3 different categories.

1. A habit can be a custom, a routine, a pattern or someone who practices tradition
2. A habit can also be a tendency towards something, an inclination, leaning towards, a preference or a fondness of something
3. And lastly, a habit can be an addiction, a problem and a dependency

Needless to say, when habits describe addictions, problems and dependencies, we have a bad habit going on. The truth about a habit is that something, anything becomes a habit when it is done without having to consciously think about it. When an act has been done so many times that it has sunk to the subconscious and we do it without consciously thinking about it, that is when something has become a habit. I remember the first time I drove a car, I had to consciously say to myself: “Step 1, set the seat, rear view mirrors, etc. Step 2 put the foot on the break,” and so on. Today of course all those steps are automatically.

As I was thinking of the habits that undoubtedly seem to control me, I realized that the habits that are truly dangerous to my well-being are not so much the fact that I may not unload the dishwasher immediately and thus the dirty dishes pile up on the counter for a day or two, the truly dangerous habits are those that come from within. The thoughts I think about myself or someone else, those repetitive thoughts that seem to float around like debris on a lake after a hefty storm.

How can I turn those habitual thoughts into beautiful floating water lilies upon my subconscious so I am flooded with healthy habits that are constructive to everyone involved?

As I am on a journey of self-discovery, as everyone is at all times, I am realizing that getting in my head to take inventory is one of the hardest things a human can do. We are not our best friends and we certainly are not 100% honest with ourselves. To be brutally honest with myself about bad internal habits I have takes guts and a true desire to really wanting to change, no matter what this change entails. Change frightens us, whether it is good change or bad change, change is the opposite of a habit, and we avoid change at all costs. We are so used to “doing” something “out there” in the world, that sitting still long enough to monitor our thoughts becomes a painful task that requires patience and perseverance and a self-love to truly wanting to know all that is going on inside of us, including the ugliness.

Just for curiosity’s sake, I looked up the words success and failure. English is not my first language after all and I’m always fascinated what the Thesaurus has to say. Did you know that success means achievement, accomplishment, victory and triumph? And did you know that failure can mean a breakdown, a stoppage, a malfunction, a crash, a collapse, disappointment, a letdown, a catastrophe, a closure of some sort?

No wonder then do we avoid looking inward long enough and deep enough at the good and the bad, in an effort to make a change for the positive. We stop our own growth by looking away and pretending that we’re not really that way. The worst part is that even "looking away" has become a habit.

I personaly wouldn’t consider a closure a failure, and in essence I am realizing that I don’t think of failures as negative qualities at all. Failures to me are just a door closing in my face to show me that I’m heading the wrong way. All I need to do is turn my head to the door that is slightly open, choose to walk towards that door and it will automatically open for me. Failures to me are just a course-redirect.

I made a list of all the outward habits and realize that changing those habits are super easy compared to the internal habits. The kingdom of heaven after all is within, not without. Yet I’m learning that in some areas of my life I live in my castle’s dungeon, rather than celebrating with good habits in the grand ballroom. I have agreed to observe myself on the inward habits, the thoughts I think, the paths I take within my own mind when things go right and when things go wrong. After all, we can be our own greatest teachers as much as we can be our own greatest enemies, if we just paid attention to our habits….and decided to turn them into positive ones instead.

One habit I do want to engrain into myself is to say a silent prayer of “I love you” to everyone I meet, especially to my enemies…

As a facilitator I taught a class this week and I posed one question to the group: “What kind of millionaire would you be? How would you feel if you were a millionaire?”

The answers ranged and were as follows. One person said: “I would feel relieved.” Heads were nodding.

Another person said: “I would feel more at peace and not so stressed and worried.” Everyone concurred.

And someone else said: “I would feel free to do what I want to do and go anywhere I’d like to go; I’d feel happy about that.” A resounding “yes” was heard across the room from all participants.

I pointed out to the group that the majority of people mentioned words like relief, peace, freedom, and happiness. Those, however, are not qualities that can be bought. Those are states of BEING, not states of doing or states featuring a price tag.

Since when do we put a price tag on emotions that come from within? And yet we do, even if not on purpose.

I asked the group why they have not chosen to be in these states of being right NOW, even though the money wasn’t here. Thoughts crossed through everyone’s faces, and heads lowered.

Then the silence broke and a woman shared that she had been poor growing up and she learned how to stretch a dollar and considered herself a frugal spender. She married a millionaire a few years back and divorced him after a year. She was not married long enough to get any part of his estate and she said that was just fine with her. It was the biggest learning experience for her and sobering. She stated that he was mostly stressed about losing his money, worried that people would steal from him or blow up bids or give him an unfair deal. He was supposedly stingy as can be and far from being happy or peaceful. She couldn’t take the superficiality any longer and learned first hand that happiness doesn’t come from money. It comes from within.

Having money to pay for your bills is certainly better than having to worry about getting your electricity turned off. Abundance, however, doesn’t have anything to do with money. It means “in excess of” or “a surplus” or "a lot of" – not necessarily of money, a surplus of happiness means Abundance just as much as having more than enough to buy whatever you want. Having a lot of health means just as much Abundance to a sick person as a million bucks may mean to a poor person. It's all relative and YOU put the price tag on each of these qualities.

So is it possible to have too much money so our worries and concerns are increased and in turn this worry gets us sick? In my opinion, absolutely, I see it quite often in fact.

There is nothing wrong with money in and of itself. Money is only paper until we as humans put energy into its fabric. This energy can be positive AND negative. Unfortunately most of the money today contains energetic frequencies that vibrate on the level of greed, jealousy and unfortunately that of blood.

And isn’t it interesting that many couples report that one of their biggest fight causing topics is that of money?