When she got married she was a size 2. After their daughter was born she was a size 14. Two years later instead of losing weight she was a size 18. Instead of hitting the gym or losing the “baby fat” she hit post partum depression and threw in the towels resolving to the fact that she was just big and “he better loves me for who I am on the inside rather than the outside.” He did love her for the person she was, but his looks on her enormously large size 18 body and 40-DD chest and a g-string that turned into booty-floss that got buried under all those “loafs of bread” did not make her feel the sexiest or most attractive woman in the world. But she didn’t care anymore…

Sounds familiar?

So what are you to do when you feel stuck in a body you don’t want to be in, fighting a depression that makes you feel guilty for having it in the first place since you just gave birth to another life and are “supposed to” float on cloud nine. You’re so uncomfortable that by now you have resorted to slip-on shoes since you can barely bend over long enough to tie your shoes.

You’ve tried working out but the time constraint now with the new child keeps you busy. You’ve tried every diet there is, and the more they fail (and we know 95% of them fail) the more depressed you get. And the excuses for not getting back into shape are endless…

Should you leave this dead marriage? What if you did?

And yet, life goes on – whether you're fit or fat!

Here are 3 things that can help you get off to a great start to regain your health and re-ignite a new spark into your partnership:

1. Stop the excuses as to why you are not losing the weight. Instead, find positive reasons why you want to regain your sexy figure. You’ve been there before, you’ll get there again. There is no need to worry about losing all the weight by next week, just start somewhere and be consistent.

2. Know that this is not about him, this is all about you. You are in this together, yes, but losing the weight for him is superficial and will only make your weight loss temporary. You must want to lose the weight for you and you only. You are the one feeling unhealthy or unattractive and you want to feel great about yourself. Having your partner be attracted to you once again is an added bonus and benefit and can serve as a motivator, but it should not be the main reason.

3. Don’t be rebellious and do what I did and put your hands on your hips with a bad attitude: “He ought to love me for me not for what I look like.” I’m sure he loves you no matter what, but you also must learn that most men are stimulated by visuals (and are equally as turned off by them). That is part of the biological make-up and no matter how much you want to rebel against it, you’re only hurting yourself and him as well. Accept Mother Nature for what she has created and know that she works perfectly at all times, either with you or against you, the choice is yours.