How can habits, good or bad, help us have better health, better relationships, be happier with ourselves and get more satisfaction out of life in general?

Most have heard that “humans are creatures of habit” – what does this really mean?


The Thesaurus breaks down the word “habit” in 3 different categories.

1. A habit can be a custom, a routine, a pattern or someone who practices tradition
2. A habit can also be a tendency towards something, an inclination, leaning towards, a preference or a fondness of something
3. And lastly, a habit can be an addiction, a problem and a dependency

Needless to say, when habits describe addictions, problems and dependencies, we have a bad habit going on. The truth about a habit is that something, anything becomes a habit when it is done without having to consciously think about it. When an act has been done so many times that it has sunk to the subconscious and we do it without consciously thinking about it, that is when something has become a habit. I remember the first time I drove a car, I had to consciously say to myself: “Step 1, set the seat, rear view mirrors, etc. Step 2 put the foot on the break,” and so on. Today of course all those steps are automatically.

As I was thinking of the habits that undoubtedly seem to control me, I realized that the habits that are truly dangerous to my well-being are not so much the fact that I may not unload the dishwasher immediately and thus the dirty dishes pile up on the counter for a day or two, the truly dangerous habits are those that come from within. The thoughts I think about myself or someone else, those repetitive thoughts that seem to float around like debris on a lake after a hefty storm.

How can I turn those habitual thoughts into beautiful floating water lilies upon my subconscious so I am flooded with healthy habits that are constructive to everyone involved?

As I am on a journey of self-discovery, as everyone is at all times, I am realizing that getting in my head to take inventory is one of the hardest things a human can do. We are not our best friends and we certainly are not 100% honest with ourselves. To be brutally honest with myself about bad internal habits I have takes guts and a true desire to really wanting to change, no matter what this change entails. Change frightens us, whether it is good change or bad change, change is the opposite of a habit, and we avoid change at all costs. We are so used to “doing” something “out there” in the world, that sitting still long enough to monitor our thoughts becomes a painful task that requires patience and perseverance and a self-love to truly wanting to know all that is going on inside of us, including the ugliness.

Just for curiosity’s sake, I looked up the words success and failure. English is not my first language after all and I’m always fascinated what the Thesaurus has to say. Did you know that success means achievement, accomplishment, victory and triumph? And did you know that failure can mean a breakdown, a stoppage, a malfunction, a crash, a collapse, disappointment, a letdown, a catastrophe, a closure of some sort?

No wonder then do we avoid looking inward long enough and deep enough at the good and the bad, in an effort to make a change for the positive. We stop our own growth by looking away and pretending that we’re not really that way. The worst part is that even "looking away" has become a habit.

I personaly wouldn’t consider a closure a failure, and in essence I am realizing that I don’t think of failures as negative qualities at all. Failures to me are just a door closing in my face to show me that I’m heading the wrong way. All I need to do is turn my head to the door that is slightly open, choose to walk towards that door and it will automatically open for me. Failures to me are just a course-redirect.

I made a list of all the outward habits and realize that changing those habits are super easy compared to the internal habits. The kingdom of heaven after all is within, not without. Yet I’m learning that in some areas of my life I live in my castle’s dungeon, rather than celebrating with good habits in the grand ballroom. I have agreed to observe myself on the inward habits, the thoughts I think, the paths I take within my own mind when things go right and when things go wrong. After all, we can be our own greatest teachers as much as we can be our own greatest enemies, if we just paid attention to our habits….and decided to turn them into positive ones instead.

One habit I do want to engrain into myself is to say a silent prayer of “I love you” to everyone I meet, especially to my enemies…