The plea for help from men over the past couple of weeks has been overwhelming and alarming. I have had conversations with at least four men about the droughts in their marriages and partnerships they are experiencing. And I have had several more conversations with woman, some married, some single, about their marriages and partnerships. And the overwhelming unanimous opinion remains: men are holding on to their marriages for dear life (mostly because of the children), with much compromising and much “internal dying.” While women are secretly wishing that “they would just leave them alone.” They too have withered and are about to die like a flower without water in the desert heat.I have created some picture- and photo-illustrations to make my point clear. And please don’t misunderstand me. I’m not trying to fix what “Adam and Eve” seemingly have screwed up for all humanity from the beginning of time. The illustrations hopefully will bring some consciousness to those of you who are hurting (including myself).
The percentages here are perhaps a drastic exaggeration, maybe they are an under-exaggeration. As long as it gets the point across:
If women are “wired” so that their needs are 90% Emotional and 10% Physical, then it is only logical that men’s “wiring make-up” is the opposite: 10% Emotional and 90% Physical.
“Why?” you may ask. “Why can’t men be 90% emotional like we are as women?” you may ask.
“Why can’t women be more sexual and physical and leave the drama outside the bedroom door?” you may ask.
It is believed that the planet is made up of 97% water. And it is believed that we as humans consist of 80-90% water. In reality there is a discrepancy because the equation has to be equal. Either the planet is made up of 80-90%, as we are. Or humans are made up of 97% water as is the planet. I’d say it’s easier to measure the water content of a human being, than it is to measure all of the water on this vast planet. Perhaps there is more landmass than we originally thought of? Maybe there is a surface beneath our broad seas that has remained undiscovered?
Whatever the case may be, just like the planet is complex, we as humans are just as complex, if not more so. The planet, however, has figured out how to work with masculine and feminine energy by mastering its giving and re-giving principle that keeps this entire galaxy in balance. In fact, every animal and plant submits to this balance. It is only us, humans, who constantly and flagrantly bring ourselves willingly out of balance. Only so we can blame our male or female counterpart for our bad choices and failures.
Why do we do this to ourselves? What is it about humans that leaves us to become “suckers for suffering?” When is Enough truly enough? How sick and how unhappy must we get before we start living and enjoying the happiness we have agreed to come here to experience?
Look at this picture here. If both pitchers are full, both partners have enough to give to overflow and give back to humanity. Yes, women in general do need more emotional “feeding” and men need more physical fulfillment. And in doing so the circle of life and energy has found its opposite end of the pole.
The same principle applies to us humans and the land of marriage. Yet so many are living in the Sahara Desert when it comes to our marriage. We have stopped giving what the other so desperately needs to bloom and live...
Neither of us, male nor female, understand that each of us is only a half cycle of the full life cycle.
“Why can’t women be more sexual and physical and leave the drama outside the bedroom door?” you may ask.
It is believed that the planet is made up of 97% water. And it is believed that we as humans consist of 80-90% water. In reality there is a discrepancy because the equation has to be equal. Either the planet is made up of 80-90%, as we are. Or humans are made up of 97% water as is the planet. I’d say it’s easier to measure the water content of a human being, than it is to measure all of the water on this vast planet. Perhaps there is more landmass than we originally thought of? Maybe there is a surface beneath our broad seas that has remained undiscovered?
Whatever the case may be, just like the planet is complex, we as humans are just as complex, if not more so. The planet, however, has figured out how to work with masculine and feminine energy by mastering its giving and re-giving principle that keeps this entire galaxy in balance. In fact, every animal and plant submits to this balance. It is only us, humans, who constantly and flagrantly bring ourselves willingly out of balance. Only so we can blame our male or female counterpart for our bad choices and failures.
Why do we do this to ourselves? What is it about humans that leaves us to become “suckers for suffering?” When is Enough truly enough? How sick and how unhappy must we get before we start living and enjoying the happiness we have agreed to come here to experience?
Look at this picture here. If both pitchers are full, both partners have enough to give to overflow and give back to humanity. Yes, women in general do need more emotional “feeding” and men need more physical fulfillment. And in doing so the circle of life and energy has found its opposite end of the pole.
Why is it that we deliberately withhold what the other needs from us?
The complaints and concerns I have gotten from the men, which all range from the physical arena by not getting any or very little sex at home, to them feeling drained by having to work so much because the wife wants to stay home and spend his money. Men don’t understand that when a woman spends money on clothes or goes to the spa or gets cosmetic surgery or whatever she spends his money on, that she’s trying to fill up her emotional “pitcher” so she can continue giving her nurturing Self to her children and her friends. Women don’t understand that by withholding her body from her beloved husband, she is emptying and drying up his pitcher content that he needs to have the energy and the desire to continue go out there and work for the family. Both lose. Both get sick over time. And there is no other way than for Mother Nature to reflect the drought these couples have brought upon themselves to the outside world in form of a separation or divorce.
When the earth stops giving moisture to the heavens, the heavens are incapable of re-giving the moisture in form of rain so grass and flowers and beauty can grow: thus a desert is born.
The complaints and concerns I have gotten from the men, which all range from the physical arena by not getting any or very little sex at home, to them feeling drained by having to work so much because the wife wants to stay home and spend his money. Men don’t understand that when a woman spends money on clothes or goes to the spa or gets cosmetic surgery or whatever she spends his money on, that she’s trying to fill up her emotional “pitcher” so she can continue giving her nurturing Self to her children and her friends. Women don’t understand that by withholding her body from her beloved husband, she is emptying and drying up his pitcher content that he needs to have the energy and the desire to continue go out there and work for the family. Both lose. Both get sick over time. And there is no other way than for Mother Nature to reflect the drought these couples have brought upon themselves to the outside world in form of a separation or divorce.
When the earth stops giving moisture to the heavens, the heavens are incapable of re-giving the moisture in form of rain so grass and flowers and beauty can grow: thus a desert is born.
When the earth gives plenty of moisture to the heavens the skies are capable and must re-give this same moisture in form of rain back to the earth: thus we experience forrests full of life, such as the Amazon forrest.
The same principle applies to us humans and the land of marriage. Yet so many are living in the Sahara Desert when it comes to our marriage. We have stopped giving what the other so desperately needs to bloom and live...
Neither of us, male nor female, understand that each of us is only a half cycle of the full life cycle.
A woman at the dog park said to me that she feels if there were only women on the planet there would be no war. I told her that without the contrast women would surely create their own wars that would be worse than what we experience today. It’s part of the illusion we live in. Women feel that they would be better off without their men, when in fact they’d only replace that emotional need with other methods, such as shopping, spending, drama, backstabbing other women and whatever else women do to find a purpose for existing every day.
And a world without women? Well, we don't have to go far to see what this would look like: Look at any male prison for the answer...
I started to teach a new class of 19 exquisite and wonderful women this past week. One of our classes this week was how women relate to money so differently than men. The questions and answers revealed how “old tapes” from growing up have embedded a strong belief in us that we are still to be provided for by our men. Not one woman realized that she could have her own relationship with money and that as long as she treated money like her best friend, money would stick around and bless her in only the best ways, just like a husband who has all his needs met would continually provide for her in every thinkable way. The conversation took a turn to marriages where couples are truly married for love, and one very mature woman who happens to be a psychologist, shared that the only successful and happy marriages she has ever seen is where the husband almost “worships” the woman and the woman reciprocates that treatment by treating him “like a god” as well.
I started to teach a new class of 19 exquisite and wonderful women this past week. One of our classes this week was how women relate to money so differently than men. The questions and answers revealed how “old tapes” from growing up have embedded a strong belief in us that we are still to be provided for by our men. Not one woman realized that she could have her own relationship with money and that as long as she treated money like her best friend, money would stick around and bless her in only the best ways, just like a husband who has all his needs met would continually provide for her in every thinkable way. The conversation took a turn to marriages where couples are truly married for love, and one very mature woman who happens to be a psychologist, shared that the only successful and happy marriages she has ever seen is where the husband almost “worships” the woman and the woman reciprocates that treatment by treating him “like a god” as well.
I call this concept: give 100% and expect 0%.
Unfortunately most think partnerships are a case of 50/50. If I give only 50% and withhold the other 50%, how can I expect the other person to give 100% to me? We'll both always fall short.
We need each other so much and yet by kicking in our heals as women by demanding emotional love we only frustrate our men. And by men demanding sex even if their women have nothing to give emotionally, they too will soon “run on empty.”
I only have one piece of advice to give to those who are in this situation. Take out a piece of paper and write a note to the Universe, God, the Heavens, the Light Source, whatever you believe in. Write down something like this but in your own words:
“Thank you for giving me my one and only life partner who unconditionally loves and adores me and whom I love and respect as well. S/he’s now in my life and I am filled with true and unconditional love and I am so grateful. If this is my current partner, then open my eyes so I can see what I have previously not been able to see. If this is someone else, then I thank you for revealing this partner to me now and I gratefully release my current partner in love so s/he can find his/her rightful partner as well. And so it is.”
Warning: I wrote something like this several years ago while I was still married. It was as if the Universe was saying: "Finally, she's given us permission to set her free." A week later my husband and I agreed to separate. Our frequencies were so far apart that the electric Universe had no choice but to deliver my request. Although shocked and in tears, I realized that I had gotten exactly what I asked for. So don't be suprised if life is about forever to change for you as well.
We need each other so much and yet by kicking in our heals as women by demanding emotional love we only frustrate our men. And by men demanding sex even if their women have nothing to give emotionally, they too will soon “run on empty.”
I only have one piece of advice to give to those who are in this situation. Take out a piece of paper and write a note to the Universe, God, the Heavens, the Light Source, whatever you believe in. Write down something like this but in your own words:
“Thank you for giving me my one and only life partner who unconditionally loves and adores me and whom I love and respect as well. S/he’s now in my life and I am filled with true and unconditional love and I am so grateful. If this is my current partner, then open my eyes so I can see what I have previously not been able to see. If this is someone else, then I thank you for revealing this partner to me now and I gratefully release my current partner in love so s/he can find his/her rightful partner as well. And so it is.”
Warning: I wrote something like this several years ago while I was still married. It was as if the Universe was saying: "Finally, she's given us permission to set her free." A week later my husband and I agreed to separate. Our frequencies were so far apart that the electric Universe had no choice but to deliver my request. Although shocked and in tears, I realized that I had gotten exactly what I asked for. So don't be suprised if life is about forever to change for you as well.
If you are in a relationship that sucks your life essence out of you and you truly appreciate and love your current partner but know that he or she is not for you, then for love’s sake let them go. They deserve a chance at true love just like you do and by you hanging on and pounding on this square peg to make it fit into the round hole you are only hurting yourself and them.
You were blessed with a soul to embody a physical 4-layered body suit so you could come here to live a glorious live that embodies our true light source. Not satisfying the trust that was given you to live such a magnificent life is insulting the light you are and preventing your light source to shine through you.
It’s time for you to get back home to your true Self and stop compromising and giving up pieces of your Self until you have become a dry Desert.
Popular belief lets us believe that partnerships and marriages are a compromise, it should never be so. Partnerships are an enrichment to an already rich life that allows you to live life in an even more euphoric stage that you could not have experienced if you didn’t have your true life partner. And unless you live such a euphoric life, you are with the wrong partner. He or she may be a good partner, but wrong for you nonetheless…
So go after your true Self and remain your authentic individual self once and for all…Only then can you find your true life partner and together you’ll be able to experience overflowing pitchers that can give back to the vast sea of people who need your blessings and love.
You were blessed with a soul to embody a physical 4-layered body suit so you could come here to live a glorious live that embodies our true light source. Not satisfying the trust that was given you to live such a magnificent life is insulting the light you are and preventing your light source to shine through you.
It’s time for you to get back home to your true Self and stop compromising and giving up pieces of your Self until you have become a dry Desert.
Popular belief lets us believe that partnerships and marriages are a compromise, it should never be so. Partnerships are an enrichment to an already rich life that allows you to live life in an even more euphoric stage that you could not have experienced if you didn’t have your true life partner. And unless you live such a euphoric life, you are with the wrong partner. He or she may be a good partner, but wrong for you nonetheless…So go after your true Self and remain your authentic individual self once and for all…Only then can you find your true life partner and together you’ll be able to experience overflowing pitchers that can give back to the vast sea of people who need your blessings and love.
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Again, your words are so timely. As you know I am living with these exact thoughts and questions right now...there is part of me that knows I am not with the right person for me, and there is another part that can't walk away...yes, we have kids, I make most if not all of the money and she is convinced that I am the man of her dreams. It's as if she is totally blind to the years of evidence that we just don't match...I am so distraught about this right now...
I told her over the weekend that I wanted to try and I got an ultimatum about telling her I absolutely don't want a divorce and want to be with her for the rest of my life...I couldn't give her that...needless to say there is no sex! But our counselor has made it clear that if we are not going to stay together we shouldn't be having sex, I intellectually understand this but...well you know.
Anyway, thanks for being there. The next time you send me light or love or prayers, please think about sending me clarity, courage,things of that nature...I really wish she didn't have me on such a high pedestal...I think it is making me feel guilty...
Love and light my friend,
Lionel
P.S. I want you to know how much I appreciate you taking the time to respond to my comments. Thank you for "listening" to me as well. It honestly means the world to me.
L