The Thesaurus states that “chronic” means the following: constant, unceasing, unending, continual, persistent, never-ending, ever-present, lasting, acute, recurring, returning, frequent, habitual, and so on.

WHO CAN LIVE WITH NEVER-ENDING PAIN!? And yet so many do…

The first time I heard the word “chronic” I was only 3 years old. I was plagued by heavy eczema all over my body to the point where my skin was cracking and bleeding behind my knees, inside my elbows, the corners of my eyes and my mouth and I had bleeding cuts underneath each of my toes. My skin was so leathery and itchy that people looked at my mother funny wondering why I was full of bleeding scratch marks all over my body. I was dragged to the University of Zurich because the allergies and hey fever were affecting me with flu like symptoms and I was not a happy child. I was poked and prodded and my mother was told that I would be plagued by chronic hey fever, allergies and eczema for the rest of my life.

When I was 5 years old cortisone creams and bath supplements had ceased to work and it was advised that I would be given cortisone shots instead. I was given cortisone shots until I was almost 15 years old. While the cortisone temporarily seemed to help the allergies, the damage that was done to my growing body was unimaginable. It seemed to start eating my body alive from the inside out. Normal accidents seemed to be too much for my body to handle, it simply didn’t have the healing mechanism that a regular body would have.

Life happens to people and “normal” bodies have a way of initiating the healing process, something my cortisone infused body was incapable of doing. I literally deteriorated and aged from the inside out. By the time I was 18 I was barely able to walk and in pain 24 hours a day. Back at the University of Zurich I was told that I was suffering from Rheumatism and to have back surgery to remove the countless fragments that were “floating around” my spine area to help alleviate some of the pain. I refused the surgery. I was told that I would die an early death because my MRI showed a skeleton of an already 30 year old woman – I was only 18. A new MRI at age 25 showed a skeleton of a 50-60 year old woman and back surgery was eventually inevitable.

Future emergency surgeries for deteriorating organs and soft tissue disease was inevitable and necessary in an effort for me to be at least walking. But when it was suspected that I was dying of lymphoma at the early age of only 29 my courage and desire to live left me. I was tired of the word “chronic,” I was tired of pain, I was tired of life. I suffered from chronic bronchitis, chronic carpal tunnel, chronic back pain, chronic constipation, chronic fatigue, CHRONIC WHATEVER – I had had enough in this body – I was ready to let go.

I don’t ever remember feeling “at home” in my body, feeling comfortable and pain free. As far back as I can remember there always seemed to be pain accompanying this life. I was finally at the end and I was glad and happy to “go home” and leave this defective shell behind.

But wait – not so fast!

The preliminary diagnosis of lymphoma turned into lupus, then Hodgkin’s disease, then hepatitis B or C, then Lyme’s disease, and finally I was diagnosed with chronic immune deficiency disorder (CFIDS) and fibromyalgia. What the heck - I didn't sign up for this!?
Then I learned that I would live with this unbearable pain for the rest of my life – yeah right! There was no way that I would continue living a debilitating life, going to meetings where others talk about their pain in an effort to get support – without the hope of ever feeling better!

There had to be another way, and there was. Today I’m in my 40s and living a life that I wanted to live when I was in my child hood and teens: pain free, productive and happy.

It has been a journey, a long journey. And it’s not over, it’s ongoing and ever evolving. It has been said that “incurable means curable from within.” This is absolutely and utterly correct. When everything pointed towards a painful and short life, it was WITHIN that I found the answers for a cure.

Just two days ago I received a call from a mother whose daughter attempted suicide twice in the last 3 months (I work as a suicide hotline counselor). She was diagnosed with fibromyalgia in 2004, is in her 40s and the pain has become unmanageable for her. This disease may be new or not even exist or even be a misdiagnosis of something totally different; whatever the case, the pain is very REAL.

If you suffer from “chronic anything” know that anything but CHRONIC HAPPINESS is abnormal, dysfunctional and needs to be converted into joy and happiness. There IS a way. Read through my posts, get my eBook featuring 350 pages of my life lessons, and beyond all: don’t ever stop believing that there isn’t any help out there for you. There is!

If I can transform and transmute all these “chronic illnesses” then you can too. So instead of attaching negative energy to these “chronic” descriptions, I want to wish you the following:

Constant happiness, unceasing joy, unending love, continual pleasure, persistent health, never-ending ecstasy, ever-present peace, lasting romance, acute laughter, recurring kindness, returning abundance, frequent feelings of excitement, habitual consciousness.

Here is to celebrating you…
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