Many people have a slight tendency to let themselves go after they say the infamous words: “I do.” While most men long to see their wives look the same as on their wedding day, it never works out that way. And most women on the other hand say a silent promise to themselves: “Now that we’re married he’ll change for me.” And we seemingly devote the rest of our lives to changing that man into something he’s never meant to be.

A quarter century down the road we hardly look like the sexy, slim women we were on our wedding day, to the sadness of our husbands who now are in the deep end of the pool called mid-life crisis, where they discover a life raft called “the younger woman.” Meanwhile, the woman takes inventory of the man she has vowed to change so many years ago, and she realizes that he’s certainly not the man she married, he has truly changed, but he is by far the man she had hoped him to become. It’s a true set up. Why do we do this to ourselves?

Why is our hair the first thing that we chop off right after we get married and instead we pack on the pounds?

We all have seen the young and athletic couple before their wedding, the very one we run into at the mall a year later and think “holy crap, they’ve gained weight!” He proudly holds on to his love handles while blaming the wife’s cooking.

What about us women though? We have enjoyed our own cooking for the most part of our lives, so why gain weight after we’re married? More importantly, how do we get off the unnecessary weight, without falling into the endless downward spiral called “diet trap?

These 3 pointers may help any woman to stay or feel attractive and to feel beautiful about herself:

1. Protect that gym membership as if your life depended on it. Once the children are here, everything changes and life often is lived exclusively for others from then on. Taking a sliver of time for yourself every day seems pure luxury, and it doesn’t have to be this way. Often we rationalize making other excuses like “It’s just too expensive,” or “I just don’t have the time.” Yet working out, sweating or doing some form of exercise may be your saving grace to keeping your sanity as well as your individuality.

2. Keep that long hair. Yes, one of the first things we chop off when we get married seems to be that long gracious long hair that takes oh-so much time every day. Yes, it’s a lot of work. And I dare you to spend that extra 30 minutes a day to treat yourself nice by looking your very best with your beautiful long hair. Instead of seeing long hair as a burden, see it as a blessing and a money saver. Short hair costs a lot more in hair dresser fees than long hair does. You can use the money you save on a hair dresser on your gym membership.

4. Your body is your best friend - listen to it. Even Adam and Eve found a bond through a mere apple. To this day when we go out to eat we ask the person we’re with: “What are you having?” Who cares what they’re having! In some illogical twisted kind of way food is a great bonding experience between people (we can be so primal). Let’s take that next step on this evolutionary ladder and start asking this question of our body instead: “What would you like today?” Listen to that voice instead and you’ll find that your body works with you like a well-oiled machine that keeps you going healthy for decades to come.